Thankful at Thanksgiving


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I was listening to Nick G, from The Dependent Independent, this morning and he really inspired me. He was talking about being grateful. More importantly, he was talking about the mundane, every day stuff, that we can and should be thankful for but sometimes feel ashamed for feeling grateful.

Confused yet?

For instance, I’m grateful for how confident I am becoming. Saying that out loud might seem pompous or egotistical but that’s ok. I’ve worked really hard to become more confident. I still have days and moments when I’m far from confident but that is also ok. I’m grateful for the change. Continue reading “Thankful at Thanksgiving”

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Shaking with Fear, Sharing my Truth


I posted a picture earlier this week. It was of me 8 weeks post-partum and one of me as of Sunday, October 29, 2017. The difference to me is shocking. It might not be to others but they don’t really know what is most shocking to me.

I’m about to tell you.

I’m extremely scared to tell this story but it’s been on my mind and in my head for too long. I need to release it and allow me to embrace and accept me.

Prior to discovering I was pregnant on July 4, 2015, I was self-destructing. Continue reading “Shaking with Fear, Sharing my Truth”

We the People, All people…


Why do I torture myself?

Why do I intentionally read about current events that I know will enrage me?

I’ll tell you why, because I’d rather be inform than be ignorant. I think many public officials should learn that lesson.

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I feel like we’re being thrown so much sensationalism that we’re losing what truth is and used to be. We can no longer trust the words written and said because we can’t trust the people that provide the information. Continue reading “We the People, All people…”

Fair-weather Father


I wasn’t sure if I wanted to bring this up but the more I think about it the more I feel like I need to share it.

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For just a little background into this story. I’ve talked before on my blog about my father and our lack of relationship. He made his choices early in my life. Meth was and is more important. Or as he likes to say, “He was born an asshole and will die and asshole.” When I was a kid and he said this it used to bring me to tears. Now, I believe it to be 100% true.

He has no ambition to be a better person, father or human being. I struggled with this for many years and for the most part I’m over it.

I have an amazing mother. She talk me how to be who I am today. I am a strong individual because I was raised by a strong woman.

Over the years I’ve just accepted my father for who he is, or so I thought. I didn’t get angry when I didn’t hear from him when my daughter was born. I called, texted, left a message, all the while in labor. I wasn’t hurt, it was expected. He ended up meeting my daughter 3 months later.

Since then he’s seen her one other time.

So, there’s that story, which leads to short interaction this past weekend.

I got a text from a random number on Friday night around 10pm saying “It has been real good of u to let me get to know my granddaughter thank you with all my heart.”

I immediately knew who sent it and I was pissed!

This from someone I haven’t heard from or seen on 8 months!

I was civil, I replied “What? All you ever have to do is call.” I wanted to say more but I refrained. I should have said what I wanted right then and there. The reply told me as much, he said “I should not have to.”

If I could have jumped through the phone and punched him in the neck, I would have! He doesn’t have to?!?! He doesn’t have to reach out to me, his daughter, in order to get to know his grandchild? Seriously?

My response short but firm and said exactly what I needed to say, well mostly. I said “Really? Don’t play this game with me. You make your own choices. You never reach out. You have no idea what’s going on in my life because it’s not convenient for you. What’s the difference now?”

I’m still waiting on the response.

I should have asked him what his granddaughter’s name was, he has never called her by her name.

I was livid all day, I allowed him to ruin my Sunday and that made me even more upset. This man! Who does he think he is!! I’ve tried in the past to build a relationship but it always felt one-sided, I was never as important as Meth. It’s that simple. He was a fair-weather father and is now nobody.

When the shooting happened and I was thinking of all the people I cared for and wondering if they were safe, he never entered my mind. That says something to me.

My child is not a toy. I made the choice before she was even born, I would not allow anyone to treat her emotions as if they meant nothing. Be it family or friend. If you want to be in her life then be there, if not then don’t be. We don’t need or want you.

What’s Momma Listening to? Abe Lincoln’s Top Hat


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In wanting to try and have some sense of normalcy so that I don’t completely lose my mind I’m here to bring you my favorite podcast of the week!

I actually listen to this religiously every week. It helps me to feel informed. There isn’t any propaganda. It is strictly facts from a moderate stand-point.

The podcast is Abe Lincoln’s Top Hat with Ben Kissel and Marcus Parks!

It’s the only political podcast I’ve been able to find that stays in the middle. It speaks to me because I am a moderate Liberal. I’m fed up with Washington, with politicians and with the excuses and so are the hosts.

They talk about what is happening all over the country and all over the world. The discussions can get heated but never become personal. That is something we have lost as a society. They ability to converse without feeling like we’re being personally attacked. This happens on both sides so please don’t accuse me of choosing one side over the other. They both carry the blame and in the same breath can both provide a solution.

If you’re into politics or not and are looking for information without rhetoric then I definitely recommend you check out Abe Lincoln’s Top Hat.

New shows post every Friday on wherever you get your podcast! You can also check them their Facebook group.