You Don’t Have Kids?!?!?!


I had never planned to make this particular rant but someone at work set me off this morning. Since I couldn’t spew all this venom at them you all get to enjoy my tantrum **Insert sinister laugh here**

Evil Laugh

Why is it that every time people find out I’ve been in a relationship with my husband for 15 years the first question that is asked is always in shock and pity…”And you don’t kids?” like something is wrong with me. How dare I haven’t procreated after spending so many years with the same person, we’re failing humanity. It pisses me OFF!

First of all it’s none of your business why I don’t have kids and how dare you feel so comfortable to condemn or judge me. You don’t know anything about me. I choose not to have children but it could also be that I’m unable to have them. I shouldn’t have to explain myself to you. I don’t say things like “Oh wow, you’re pregnant, there goes your freedom” or “Geez, I guess you’re life is over now. Say goodbye to privacy!” to you do I? I happen to enjoy not having a schedule dictated by homework, playdates and soccer practice. I like that I can get up and go whenever I want without worrying about a babysitter or fighting with my husband on why I deserve a break.

I am intrigued about the bond that comes from growing a person in your body but have never felt drawn to it enough to want to do it myself and THAT’S OK. I’m still a woman. Having a child or not having one doesn’t make me any less a person and I’m tired of being treated that way. It’s not only strangers that do this, members of my own family are just as guilty. “When are you having kids?”, “I guess I’ll never be a grandparent at this rate.” Or “I’m not pressuring you but you know.” No I don’t know and thank you for making me feel awkward.

Now don’t get me wrong, I have MANY friends that are parents; amazing parents actually. They have children that are smart and funny, talented like some of us only dreamed we could be but were too afraid to try. They are helping these small people become brilliant big people and I’m in awe that they can do it each day. I think being a parent is a selfless, demanding job with amazing rewards for people that choose to parent. I applaud all of my friends for choosing to be parents and support that choice.

I think that some of the children of this generation and decade are some of the brightest future adults we’ve ever seen. In the same breath I also think some of these kids would benefit from an old fashion ass whoopping. I see WAY too many people trying to be friends with their kids. GUESS WHAT! They have friends, they need parents. Be their friend when they become an adult, be the structure they need in life now.

I’m sure there are those out there that will read this and be very offended….GOOD, I’m offended every time I’m questioned about children. You be you and I’ll be me.

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16 thoughts on “You Don’t Have Kids?!?!?!

  1. I didn’t have them, either. When people ask, “you didn’t have kids?” I simply say, “No.” Not a single person has ever followed up. Of course, I would have followed up with, “did you ever want them?” and hope that a great conversation followed. but most people stop there.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I think the people who live in my town could learn from the people in yours Carol lol I’m always surprised when I get a follow up after saying no. It’s not everyone but it does happen more often than not.

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  2. Remember also that its completely possible you have nothing wrong with you, but I am the one unable to provide us with children. It doesn’t bother me so much as the worldwide stigmata with having children and how you seem subjected to being a lesser person for being unable or unwilling to have them. It all just stupid reasoning considering the countless other ways I’ve seen adults & supposedly well-prepared, intelligent ones seemingly screw up raising their child(ren).

    To be fair; the world is literally baby-crazy enough in their own right, me joining the collected masses(even if I did have a kid) on such an opinion is not only counter-productive in terms common sense but simply put I just don’t care to be so superficially judged by those that do have kids. People have been having children since the human race began procreating to begin with, it doesn’t make you special, it simply makes you a parent. How good of one is a completely different story; especially if you condemn others simply for not having kids of their own.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. As always baby you correct 🙂

      I don’t think there has to be anything wrong with either of us. Even prior to medical issues I made sure to keep up to date on birth control because we didn’t want kids. I just got annoyed today because this isn’t the first time this woman and I have had this conversation and I’m tired of it. I’m not a leper for not being a mother! hahaha

      Love you!

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  3. Isn’t it grand that we all are unique, in many various ways and areas? So unique that we each get to make our own choices in life. Some choices I make, others might not respect…heck, I may not be completely satisfied with them either. Then again some choices others make I may not be respectful about ….BUT…they’re our choices I’ll deal with my consequences and I’ll let them deal with theirs. I’m just excited that we do get choices. Liz, love, if your happy with your choice, then by all means, so am I.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I am happy Diane, thank you! If one day I do happen to have a child I will also be happy with that choice as well. I just am tired of the stigma that seems to come with a woman over 30 who doesn’t have a child. We know nothing about the people we judge in our minds and should be more careful when voicing ourselves with regards to sensitive subject matter. I love choices too 🙂

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    1. Thank you! It really isn’t. I just don’t understand where people get off asking such personal questions, especially at work. She acted like my life was somehow less because I didn’t have offspring lol

      Liked by 1 person

  4. You don’t need my advice on blogging. You’re strong and direct and well-written.

    I admire the kid less as much as I admire great parents. It’s a decision made for the right reasons.

    Liked by 1 person

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