Hello young one. I know you’re not surprised to receive this letter. I remember thinking and wishing this letter would come. Someone to let me know that the way I was feeling and all the trials that I felt were happening at the time weren’t worth it.
I want you to read this letter every time you want to cry because of someone’s mean remarks about your name, your clothes, where you live…..whatever. Just read and re-read. All the things you’re feeling now are normal and it’s ok. You’re allowed to be upset. You’re allowed to feel despair. Just remember this is a small hiccup in your life and each trial and tribulation is just helping mold you into the strong woman you will one day be. It doesn’t mean you won’t still be sad some days or feel like you’re drowning, it just means you’ll learn to cope and rise above.
I know you move around a lot but just keep that smile on your face, buckle down and learn as much as you can. Don’t be intimidated by the “cool kids” or the fact that you’re always the new kid. Trust me those “cool kids” are just as insecure, they’re just better at either hiding it or lashing out to make others feel bad, you don’t have that in you and that isn’t a bad thing. The people that will become your real friends are WAY better than the alleged “cool kids”. I know that isn’t what you want to hear but having empathy is one of the strongest emotions you can have that will help you so much when you get older. Try to put yourself in the other kids place, really look at them and try to see why they act the way they do. It might be that their just assholes or it might be that they’re hurting as well and only have one way to express themselves.
Get the best grades you can, study like you’re starving for the knowledge. Don’t feel stupid for reaching out and wanting to learn the answers. You’ll constantly being learning and seeking knowledge you’re entire life. That’s a GOOD thing!
Be kinder to your sister. It sucks that she’s attached to your hip but you aren’t the first kid to be responsible for a sibling and you won’t be the last. It isn’t her fault or yours that you only have a mom to help you navigate life. Blame the fathers that would rather criticize than help or contribute. When you both get older you’ll both turn out pretty awesome and that’s thanks to your mom and each other. Be patient, your sister wants to be like you and learn from you. You’re the one she looks up to whether you realize it or not.
Cut your mom some slack, she’s doing it by herself and it isn’t easy for her either. She loves to tell you “You only know what you’ve been taught” the same goes for her as well. She does her best each day and deserve that respect. You won’t always agree with her but contrary to what you think right now she does have her reasons.
You will eventually settle into a town and make friends with people you’ll appreciate and still know well into your 30’s. I know that sounds so far away but it’s closer than you realize. Don’t be in such a hurry to get to 30 either, enjoy the years you have now and cherish being each age, it’s all about learning and growing. You only get one chance. Don’t feel the need to try and impress everyone, you don’t have to impress anyone to make them like you. They either like you or they don’t and that’s ok. You can’t force your personality on everyone and trust me the ones that will like and love you won’t feel forced. It’s ok to be different, being a follower is boring and can lead to you being miserable. Forge your own path.
Embrace those after school jobs, learn as much as you can from those around you and be humble when you don’t know something. It’s ok not to be perfect. Perfect is over-rated.
Don’t ever let boys come before your friends. They’re exactly that….boys and they really aren’t as important or as special as they seem. Sure they’re cute and make you feel special but you don’t need a boy to make you feel special. Learn to complete yourself and never rely on anyone to do that for you. I know where that issue comes from and trust me when I tell you that you’ll get over it. You’ll see the father that created that issue in a new light soon and the bubble will pop. He isn’t as wonderful as you think he is, he’s human and has made many errors. Abandoning you for drugs is his issue not yours. He is the one that is missing out and will continue to miss out as you get older and realize how little you need him because he was never there to begin with, he’ll have to live with that not you.
And last but not least. BE KIND AND LOVE YOURSELF! You’re only 13 years old and nobody expects you to be perfect. You’re a bundle of emotions and hormones. You’re going to make mistakes and you are going to have your heart broken more than once. That’s ok. Remember what I said, these are all lessons for the future. Stand up for what you believe and don’t let others make you feel stupid for your beliefs. If they can’t respect your beliefs as you do there then fuck em. One day you’re going to become the person writing you this letter and just know that she accepts herself for who she is and isn’t ashamed of any of those lessons she learned growing up.