Holy crap, in six weeks I’m having a kid!! Well six weeks and give or take whenever she decides it’s time to make her debut. It’s gone by so very fast! At the beginning I thought “Man, this is going to be a long 9 months” and now I’m more like “Man, where the hell did time go!??!”
(Photo Courtesy www.inktastic.com)
Each week has been amazing to me. I’ve become obsessed over every movement and talk to her all the time. I think she already listens really well, did I tell you she can count? I tap 3 times on my belly and she’ll tap three times back. Already the smartest kid EVER! Ok so maybe I’m crazy and slightly bias but I DON’T CARE! I’m supposed to be right?
I’ve been really tired these last two weeks but I expected that, training for being tired after she’s born if she isn’t like her Mommy and Daddy and doesn’t sleep through the night.
My hips and inner thighs are super uncomfortable but again I expect that because well, that’s where the magic will happen right (insert cheeky smile here)? It’s super nice that my husband is also feeling this pain with me. Last night as he got into bed he bemoaned about how much his hips and lower back ached. I thanked him for the sympathy and offered to rub his hips as he does for me when I moan in my sleep. He’s been so amazing throughout this entire pregnancy, I’m not sure what I would do without him.
I’m very aware that my hormones have shot out of control and that I also don’t care….unless it’s when I cry because then it freaks my husband out. He gets so sweet about it lol “Can I get you anything, take you somewhere, buy you something?!?!” Whatever he can do to make it stop. I have to remind him that they just start and stop on their own. Just let it happen.
My mom has also dealt with my crazy and has been amazing. She just smiles and nods as I go off on tangents and get crazy at a stop light when someone takes too long to make the turn after the light has gone green. STOP STARING AT YOUR PHONE AND DRIVE ASSHOLE! Yes I yell it AND I make direct eye contact in their rear-view mirror. I’ve gone completely insane but have enjoyed the scenery so I’m not too broken up about it.
I keep waiting to feel nervous knowing that in such a short time I’m going to push forth life but so far it’s not happening. I’m just more anxious really. I’ve felt her grow and move (which she’s doing as I type) and now just want to gaze into her eyes and stay at her for hours. I want to meet this perfect mix of me and my husband. This tiny person who has taken over our lives already and has probably made me even more aggressive and protective than before….I didn’t think that was possible.
I have gotten slightly annoyed at some people that keep acting like once I have my daughter that I will no longer be able to do anything but take care of her. All these condescending tones telling me that it’ll be up to me to take care of her 24/7, like my husband will somehow be unable to care for his daughter. It’s insulting to him and has an old fashion attitude in my opinion. Why won’t I be able to take a sewing class? Why won’t I be able to leave the house? My husband looks forward to caring for his daughter, why would anyone assume that it will only be my responsibility to take care of her? My mother will also be there every step of the way to help us in any way needed. My daughter is covered in the care department and it doesn’t solely rest on my shoulders. Am I crazy? I try to remember they had their children in an era and that men weren’t always the hands on dads that so many are during this time.
My brain has also turned to mush. Normally my brain is constantly firing and I find it hard to concentrate on just one thing but again in the last few weeks my mind has almost become just dull white noise in the background. I can’t think of anything really and when I do it’s mostly internal monologue that I don’t care to share with others because it’s my brand of crazy making an appearance. Words are sometimes making themselves scarce when I do speak but the doctor has informed me that this is also normal and will fade but will it? I have friends that tell me their kids sucked their brains out, has Emerson started already?
My sister is throwing me a baby shower and I’m super excited!!! She has amazing taste and loves Emerson as much as I do if not more, so she’s going all out. I feel incredibly lucky that Emerson has such an amazing Aunt. She’s already gone on mini shopping sprees, bought her a bed set and still wants to get her more. Her love and generosity has no bounds. I do enjoy the texts from her asking how HER baby is, I always respond that “Yes I’m fine and so is MY baby” but who am I kidding, I’m going to share her with my sister. How could I not?
I’ve been overwhelmed by the outpouring of love that so many friends and family have showered upon my little girl and she isn’t even born yet. I can’t begin to imagine how much more fulfilling it will be for her to feel all the love and support of so many once she’s here and can absorb it all on her own.
Did I enjoy I also mention I bounce from topic to topic with no stopping point?