Randomly Yours


I own a pair of jeans again!

This is a huge deal for me. I stopped buying them about 5 years ago as the number on the scale kept getting larger and larger…like I did. I didn’t want to see a number in the inseam of my pants reminding me of what I already knew. That I was fat. I could see that each day when I looked in the mirror. I could feel it when I got winded climbing stair or wasn’t able to cross my legs above the knee.

Anyways, I went shopping Friday night with my mother in law and my husband in a search for an actual winter coat. I’ve never owned one and usually used wraps and sweaters during each winter but this year I decided “Now is the time! I must find a jacket!” I wanted one that was me or rather the ever changing me I am becoming and that would also be classic enough that I wouldn’t need to find another coat any time soon.

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I found the coat but I also found JEANS!

What really blew my mind is that the size that fit were FOUR sizes smaller than my pre-pregnancy stretch pants!! I’ve known that I have lost 40lbs since she was born but I guess it didn’t actually compute in my mind. Maybe that’s because I still wear all the clothes I wore pre-pregnancy. They stretch, so they fit and that works for me.

Shopping for clothing has almost always been a dreadful experience for me so the less I have to do it the better….or is it? As I’ve started seeing myself in a new light I find that I enjoy shopping. I like trying on shirts, pants and yes even skirts to see what fits this new body I live in and what makes it shine.

I planned to write this entire piece without mentioning my daughter but somehow it always comes back to her or somehow ties into her existence. Before her I was exercising, eating right and still not achieving substantial weight loss. After her I have not only lost that weight but am slowly taking off more and more. I’ve also noticed that the shape of my body has changed. I’m curvier in more places that lend my body a softness that wasn’t there before and I really like it.

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Taking picture of said jeans was harder than I realized with no mirror.

I don’t know what the point of this post was or even if it matters. This is me, talking to all of you and sharing my human experience.

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