Instead of #WaldoWednesday


I don’t have a theme today for #WaldoWednesday.

I have been dealing with a sick baby all week and lack the brain power this morning to dig too deep into myself.

I guess that’s wrong as well. I am digging deep but I don’t know if a quote from my favorite dead fella will work this morning.

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This week as I move toward Christmas I do not feel the anxiety and dread that normally accompanies the holiday for me. I’m excited this year. I get to create new memories with my daughter that hopefully will stay with her forever.

It’s not to stay the holiday season hasn’t had its share of drama but I’m choosing to talk, write and type about it so I can move on. My empathy has been stretched to the max and is exhausted for some. I started my New Year’s resolution early and have taken steps to shake off the guilt I have felt in the past for not measuring up to others expectations.

I am a good person. I work hard. I pay my bills. I take care of my family. I love unconditionally, even when I want to lash out. I respect others. I let them be who they are without approval from me. It’s not up to me.

I am moving forward with love. I am human. I will error each day and stumble but I will pick myself back up and start again. I will not barter with my time or love when someone upsets me. I cannot say the same for others. I will not worry about what I cannot control.

This sounds like a mantra or mission statement but maybe that’s how I need to express myself. I’m not thinking, I’m just typing. I’m allowing the words and emotions to flow because it gives me peace and contentment.

When I release these emotions it makes room for the more positive aspects of my life. It allows me to get out of my head and to live in the present.

I am thankful for my husband. He tries so hard every day and helps to provide for our family. This year has been new for him as well and he is learning to navigate the waters as a father now instead of just a husband. The joy in our daughter’s face when she sees her Daddy shows me how far he’s come. I love you Hun.

I’m thankful for my mom. She watches my daughter each day while I go to work. My daughter gets to have this extremely special relationship with her Gigi that nobody will ever understand. I learn new things from my mom daily that help me to be a better person and parent. Thank you Mom!

Thank you to my mother in law. She is selfless with her time and resources. We are blessed to have her in our lives. She is a loving grandmother and caring mother. I’m meeting a new side of her now that I am a mother. Thank you Marta!

I can’t forget my boss. I have the great fortune to have a boss that is also a mentor. She teaches me more than just new skills in the workplace. I have learned to step back and evaluate more in watching her. She understands that my new role as a mother supersedes everything else and is completely understanding. Thank you boss lady!

There are many others on the list but these four people have been there for me daily and deserves the recognition the most. They see me. They accept me. They love me.

I started off wanting to rant and go off on a tangent but I think I wrote something with more value and importance instead.

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