Shaking with Fear, Sharing my Truth


I posted a picture earlier this week. It was of me 8 weeks post-partum and one of me as of Sunday, October 29, 2017. The difference to me is shocking. It might not be to others but they don’t really know what is most shocking to me.

I’m about to tell you.

I’m extremely scared to tell this story but it’s been on my mind and in my head for too long. I need to release it and allow me to embrace and accept me.

Prior to discovering I was pregnant on July 4, 2015, I was self-destructing. Continue reading “Shaking with Fear, Sharing my Truth”

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Everyday, all day, and forever


I’m amazed each and every day by my daughter.

EVERY DAY!

The way she figures out how to push her toys or pull her wagon across the room and over carpet and tile without a single issue. Less than a year ago she could barely walk! Talk about progress.

How she babbles and strings together words to try and explain herself. She’s now using her picture book to let her Dad know when she wants milk. How smart is that!?! I’m beyond impressed. Continue reading “Everyday, all day, and forever”

#Momlife: Year One


I know that I’ve been a mother, technically, since the moment of inception but this post isn’t about that. It’s about my first year as a mother to a living, breathing, human-being.

To say that it has changed me and my world is a total and complete understatement. Of course it has, if it didn’t I would completely judge myself. Creating, growing and nurturing a human being is a life changing experience. It is always on my mind.

Am I doing this right?

Am I doing that right?

Why isn’t she sleeping through the night?

Do all her teeth have to come in at once?

Why don’t I understand all her cries and whines? Shouldn’t I know these things by now? Why do they keep changing? Continue reading “#Momlife: Year One”

Nursemaid what?!?


It was a typical night. Dinner was cooked and eaten with gusto. Baths had been taken, with the majority of the water staying in the tub. Laughs could be heard throughout the house, until that cry of pain that wouldn’t go away. It bought our household to an immediate stop.

Why wouldn’t Emmie stop crying, why was she holding her arm so limp? She could squeeze my fingers. She did her best to stop crying but just the slightest touch to her arm started the tears anew.

There was no swelling or bruising, did she fall on it in her attempts to walk? She can’t tell me what’s wrong, only cling to me in the hopes that I can make it better.

Do I take her to the ER? The Urgent Care? Am I being too paranoid or not paranoid enough? What is the right answer? Continue reading “Nursemaid what?!?”

OMG, I’m 35!


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This is the first year I didn’t cry on my birthday! WOOHOO for me!

Last year it was completely hormonal when I cried off and on all day, I had just had a baby 7 days prior.

Maybe my mindset this year was different. I am a completely different person after all. I mean we all are but for me having a child changed something at my core.

It’s possible I was sad and overtly emotional each year but I knew something or someone was missing.

Either way, I’m glad this year was different. It felt really good to actually feel content and happy on my birthday.

I got to spend the morning taking a walk with my mom and daughter. I went for a pedicure with a good friend and spent the afternoon on the couch cuddling that same daughter.

My husband surprised me with a beautiful perfume gift box. It had the perfume, lipsticks, blush, sparkles, lotion and shower gel. Oh and a great bag to hold it all! I was truly surprised and happy to receive the gift, I knew he put thought into it. That’s what meant the most.

I also got some flowers, cupcakes and a card from my mom and daughter. That made me smile, my first present from my child. Granted, she has no idea she gave it to me or that it’s my birthday but whatever. I loved it!

Did I mention I’m now 35? I don’t feel 35, so does it count?