Fair-weather Father


I wasn’t sure if I wanted to bring this up but the more I think about it the more I feel like I need to share it.

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For just a little background into this story. I’ve talked before on my blog about my father and our lack of relationship. He made his choices early in my life. Meth was and is more important. Or as he likes to say, “He was born an asshole and will die and asshole.” When I was a kid and he said this it used to bring me to tears. Now, I believe it to be 100% true.

He has no ambition to be a better person, father or human being. I struggled with this for many years and for the most part I’m over it.

I have an amazing mother. She talk me how to be who I am today. I am a strong individual because I was raised by a strong woman.

Over the years I’ve just accepted my father for who he is, or so I thought. I didn’t get angry when I didn’t hear from him when my daughter was born. I called, texted, left a message, all the while in labor. I wasn’t hurt, it was expected. He ended up meeting my daughter 3 months later.

Since then he’s seen her one other time.

So, there’s that story, which leads to short interaction this past weekend.

I got a text from a random number on Friday night around 10pm saying “It has been real good of u to let me get to know my granddaughter thank you with all my heart.”

I immediately knew who sent it and I was pissed!

This from someone I haven’t heard from or seen on 8 months!

I was civil, I replied “What? All you ever have to do is call.” I wanted to say more but I refrained. I should have said what I wanted right then and there. The reply told me as much, he said “I should not have to.”

If I could have jumped through the phone and punched him in the neck, I would have! He doesn’t have to?!?! He doesn’t have to reach out to me, his daughter, in order to get to know his grandchild? Seriously?

My response short but firm and said exactly what I needed to say, well mostly. I said “Really? Don’t play this game with me. You make your own choices. You never reach out. You have no idea what’s going on in my life because it’s not convenient for you. What’s the difference now?”

I’m still waiting on the response.

I should have asked him what his granddaughter’s name was, he has never called her by her name.

I was livid all day, I allowed him to ruin my Sunday and that made me even more upset. This man! Who does he think he is!! I’ve tried in the past to build a relationship but it always felt one-sided, I was never as important as Meth. It’s that simple. He was a fair-weather father and is now nobody.

When the shooting happened and I was thinking of all the people I cared for and wondering if they were safe, he never entered my mind. That says something to me.

My child is not a toy. I made the choice before she was even born, I would not allow anyone to treat her emotions as if they meant nothing. Be it family or friend. If you want to be in her life then be there, if not then don’t be. We don’t need or want you.

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Hi Dad….I have issues!


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I had an epiphany recently, one that shouldn’t have taken me so long to realize but it is what it is, right?

I‘ve always been very open and vocal with my issues regarding my father and his lack of attentiveness once I hit puberty. I came to understand that he made choices about what he considered was a priority in his life and I wasn’t one of them. Its fine, I’m over that. What I didn’t realize was how it would affect me once I became a parent. Continue reading “Hi Dad….I have issues!”

#BookReview: The Help by Kathryn Stockett


Three ordinary women are about to take one extraordinary step…. 

Twenty-two-year-old Skeeter has just returned home after graduating from Ole Miss. She may have a degree, but it is 1962, Mississippi, and her mother will not be happy till Skeeter has a ring on her finger. Skeeter would normally find solace with her beloved maid Constantine, the woman who raised her, but Constantine has disappeared and no one will tell Skeeter where she has gone.

Aibileen is a black maid, a wise, regal woman raising her seventeenth white child. Something has shifted inside her after the loss of her own son, who died while his bosses looked the other way. She is devoted to the little girl she looks after, though she knows both their hearts may be broken.

Minny, Aibileen’s best friend, is short, fat, and perhaps the sassiest woman in Mississippi. She can cook like nobody’s business, but she can’t mind her tongue, so she’s lost yet another job. Minny finally finds a position working for someone too new to town to know her reputation. But her new boss has secrets of her own.

Seemingly as different from one another as can be, these women will nonetheless come together for a clandestine project that will put them all at risk. And why? Because they are suffocating within the lines that define their town and their times. And sometimes lines are made to be crossed.

In pitch-perfect voices, Kathryn Stockett creates three extraordinary women whose determination to start a movement of their own forever changes a town, and the way women–mothers, daughters, caregivers, friends–view one another. A deeply moving novel filled with poignancy, humor, and hope, The Help is a timeless and universal story about the lines we abide by, and the ones we don’t. Continue reading “#BookReview: The Help by Kathryn Stockett”

#BookReview: Saving Phoebe Murrow by Herta Feely


Have you ever tried to be the perfect Mother?

A timeless story of mothers and daughters with a razor-sharp 21st century twist, this heart-wrenching debut for fans of Jodi Picoult, Jane Shemilt and The Slap by Christos Tsiolkas will make you question how you and your family spend time online

Isabel Murrow is precariously balancing her career and her family. Hard-working and caring, worried but supportive, all Isabel wants, in a perilous world of bullies and temptations, is to keep her daughter Phoebe safe. Phoebe has just attempted suicide. She says it is Isabel’s fault.

Saving Phoebe Murrow is a timely tale about an age-old problem – how best to raise our children, and how far to go in keeping them from harm. Set amidst the complicated web of relationships at the school gate, it tells a story of miscommunication and malice, drugs and Facebook, prejudice and revenge.  Continue reading “#BookReview: Saving Phoebe Murrow by Herta Feely”

Blog Tour – Saving Phoebe Murrow by Herta Feely


A timeless story of mothers and daughters with a razor-sharp 21st century twist, this heart-wrenching debut for fans of Kimberly McCreight (Reconstructing Amelia) and Liane Moriarity (Big Little Lies) will make you question how you and your family spend time online.

With Saving Phoebe Murrow, acclaimed writer and longtime children’s activist Herta Feely introduces readers to Isabel Murrow: a suburban mother precariously balancing her busy career as a D.C. lawyer and her family, who she would do anything to protect. In a world of bullies and temptations, all Isabel wants is to keep her thirteen-year-old daughter, Phoebe, safe. But with her hectic schedule, Isabel fails to recognize another mother’s mounting fury and the danger her daughter faces by flirting with a mysterious boy online. A cyber-bullying incident aimed at Phoebe, with horrific consequences, finally pushes Isabel to the edge.

Smartly paced and equal parts shocking and sadly familiar, Saving Phoebe Murrow is a riveting addition to the contemporary women’s fiction landscape that will resonate with parents, teens, and anyone compelled by timely and beautifully crafted stories.

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Continue reading “Blog Tour – Saving Phoebe Murrow by Herta Feely”