Fair-weather Father


I wasn’t sure if I wanted to bring this up but the more I think about it the more I feel like I need to share it.

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For just a little background into this story. I’ve talked before on my blog about my father and our lack of relationship. He made his choices early in my life. Meth was and is more important. Or as he likes to say, “He was born an asshole and will die and asshole.” When I was a kid and he said this it used to bring me to tears. Now, I believe it to be 100% true.

He has no ambition to be a better person, father or human being. I struggled with this for many years and for the most part I’m over it.

I have an amazing mother. She talk me how to be who I am today. I am a strong individual because I was raised by a strong woman.

Over the years I’ve just accepted my father for who he is, or so I thought. I didn’t get angry when I didn’t hear from him when my daughter was born. I called, texted, left a message, all the while in labor. I wasn’t hurt, it was expected. He ended up meeting my daughter 3 months later.

Since then he’s seen her one other time.

So, there’s that story, which leads to short interaction this past weekend.

I got a text from a random number on Friday night around 10pm saying “It has been real good of u to let me get to know my granddaughter thank you with all my heart.”

I immediately knew who sent it and I was pissed!

This from someone I haven’t heard from or seen on 8 months!

I was civil, I replied “What? All you ever have to do is call.” I wanted to say more but I refrained. I should have said what I wanted right then and there. The reply told me as much, he said “I should not have to.”

If I could have jumped through the phone and punched him in the neck, I would have! He doesn’t have to?!?! He doesn’t have to reach out to me, his daughter, in order to get to know his grandchild? Seriously?

My response short but firm and said exactly what I needed to say, well mostly. I said “Really? Don’t play this game with me. You make your own choices. You never reach out. You have no idea what’s going on in my life because it’s not convenient for you. What’s the difference now?”

I’m still waiting on the response.

I should have asked him what his granddaughter’s name was, he has never called her by her name.

I was livid all day, I allowed him to ruin my Sunday and that made me even more upset. This man! Who does he think he is!! I’ve tried in the past to build a relationship but it always felt one-sided, I was never as important as Meth. It’s that simple. He was a fair-weather father and is now nobody.

When the shooting happened and I was thinking of all the people I cared for and wondering if they were safe, he never entered my mind. That says something to me.

My child is not a toy. I made the choice before she was even born, I would not allow anyone to treat her emotions as if they meant nothing. Be it family or friend. If you want to be in her life then be there, if not then don’t be. We don’t need or want you.

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#BookReview: Becoming Faith


The JackholeS are back…
In the explosive ending to Faith and Kill’s roller coaster love story, Faith has finally surrendered to the inevitable conclusion that she was meant for Kill.
Her acceptance came at the perfect time, because the JackholeS are on their way to LA to record their chart-breaking album.
But LA and their burgeoning fame comes with another set of obstacles.
With a bitchy label representative hellbent on tearing them apart, a twitchy assistant who does more harm than good, and Kill’s mysterious phone calls he refuses to ignore, nothing is what it seems.
Can the JackholeS keep their family safe while rising to stardom?
Can Faith prove Kill owns her trust before it’s too late?
And the one person who can tear them apart could be lurking close by…. 
Continue reading “#BookReview: Becoming Faith”

#Momlife: Year One


I know that I’ve been a mother, technically, since the moment of inception but this post isn’t about that. It’s about my first year as a mother to a living, breathing, human-being.

To say that it has changed me and my world is a total and complete understatement. Of course it has, if it didn’t I would completely judge myself. Creating, growing and nurturing a human being is a life changing experience. It is always on my mind.

Am I doing this right?

Am I doing that right?

Why isn’t she sleeping through the night?

Do all her teeth have to come in at once?

Why don’t I understand all her cries and whines? Shouldn’t I know these things by now? Why do they keep changing? Continue reading “#Momlife: Year One”

#BookReview: Surviving Faith (The JackholeS #2) by Joy Eileen


Faith valiantly tries to deny her explosive attraction to Kill. She finally caves into him when a frightening run-in with her ex, causes her to reevaluate her need to stay away. And she can’t help wondering why she took so long. Kill is everything she’s always wanted in a man, except he’s about to be famous.
Now that she has accepted him, can she keep him? Or will her crippling fears get the best of her?

Kill knows that he has a lot of work ahead of him to break through Faith’s walls. He didn’t expect her to put up such a tough fight.
With his imminent stardom looming, he has to make a choice. Should he continue to fight for Faith’s love and trust, or should he let her go and live his dream without the woman he loves?

Surviving Faith is the second installment of the JackholeS series. Continue reading “#BookReview: Surviving Faith (The JackholeS #2) by Joy Eileen”

It won’t last forever…..


How has the New Year of 2017 been for all of you?

For me it’s been non-stop. In my real-life, outside of my blogging world, I have not been able to catch a breath. I’ve worked long hours and have tried my hardest to squeeze as many hours as I can out of the day to spend with my husband and daughter. 24 hours is not enough time.

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I’m grateful for my mother during this time, more so than I am at any other time. If it cannot be me who is spending quality hours with my child then I am comforted by the fact that it is my mother. She is catching the smiles and milestones on camera. It’s with great sadness that I think the first time I see my daughter walk that it will be on film because I’ll be at work. Continue reading “It won’t last forever…..”